things happen.

i don't know what else that you want me to say to you
things happen, that's all they ever do, all they ever do...
- "things happen," dawes

in this age, every horrible thing that happens at every moment in every place gets custom delivered to a little rectangle in your pocket and follows you everywhere. it's an absolute wonder we're all standing.

but there's also a cottage industry of people out there - i will call them people and not the parade of ugly swears that comes to mind when i think about this too much - who thrive on provoking sorrow, fear, panic, and rage. and in an era of real peril, where people face actual danger in a way that most living americans have not experienced firsthand, it is a mortal sin to make people's emotional and psychological health worse.

i am absolutely not immune from yelling at my screens. lord knows i do it a lot, either mentally or out loud. and i find myself yelling more and more some variation of a theme: how exactly should i be performing how i feel to prove to you that i am reacting "correctly" to what's happening? and heaven forbid that you're too calm in front of the internet. you're either not taking things "seriously" or you're having a "trauma response."

we need to feel our feelings. emotional honesty is important. but we are in extremely unnerving times, as rev. missouri said once. and things are going to keep happening. you will only hurt yourself if you can't find some sort of outlet and processing tactic to get through this. and that's not "doing a capitalism" or whatever cute little phrase the grifter-net comes up with to try to keep you drowning. you don't need to compose yourself to serve a boss or whatever, though i would suggest that it's important to keep yourself materially secure in these times.

you need to be able to keep your head on straight to preserve yourself and those you love. you need to be able to defend yourself. and you cannot do that in a spiral. so do the things you need to do: therapy. journaling (analog-style, in a notebook, with a pen, not on a device that could be hacked somehow). exercise. friends. lovers. gummies. dark chocolate. whatever, just do something.

i said this on bluesky the other day, but people were literally writing classical masterpieces in concentration camps. dr. king really liked to play pool. people laughed, had families, ate food, and drew pictures in the middle of wars. you are not being noble by prolonging your own suffering because things are bad. things happen. that's all they ever do. you are not denying reality by living your life. you are fighting back.